The “180 Rule” Part 2

Ladies and Fellas,

Ok. So here is the second installment of “The 180 Rule.” If you’re new to the 180 Rule series, please stop reading, and check out Part 1 and then come back. Otherwise, let’s pick up where we left off in Part 1.

Men are visual as I shared before. Women are too, but men possess an internal mechanism of visual attraction that women trigger. Think about it. A gorgeous woman in a red, form-fitting dress can stop a man cold in his tracks.

beta-male-traits-man-staring-at-woman1 copyRemember the woman in a red dress in the movie The Matrix? She was a computer program whose specific purpose was to be a distraction during one of Neo’s simulated training sessions. Neo, played by Keanu Reeves, was caught off guard in an instant, while Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) was explaining the truth behind the Matrix. Morpheus asked Neo, “Were you listening to me, Neo, or were you looking at the woman in the red dress?” An embarrassed Neo tries to explain like most men do when they get caught gawking at a sexy woman. Morpheus instructs Neo to take a second look; and when Neo does, he finds a gun pointed in his face, held by his archenemy, Agent Smith. Although it was a simulated exercise, the message was clear.

What’s the point here? I often tell men to be cautious and not allow their attractions to become distractions, because the results could be devastating.

Wait. Let me be clear. I’m not saying men should all become Monks and blind ourselves to avoid looking at women. That’s silly. I personally don’t believe in what I call “Monking your eyes.”  The problem occurs when the act of looking goes beyond innocent admiration, and morphs into lust and inappropriate fantasizing. When it does, some men cross over to the Dark Side and never return.

So what can we men do to train our eyes not to gawk? That’s where the 180 Rule comes in.

Think of the circumference of a circle, which is 360 degrees. Half of the circumference is 180 degrees of course. If you were standing in the center of a circle, from one shoulder to the next is 180 degrees. So basically when an attractive woman walks toward your direction, look but don’t stare beyond your shoulder, your “180 degree mark.” The temptation will be to look back to sneak a peak. That’s when things can get out of hand. That second look is what gets guys in trouble.

The goal is to train our eyes to admire and keep it moving, especially if we have no intention of making an introduction. Looking just to be looking is a waste of time. So why stare? Why sneak peaks at cleavage? Why try to look up the skirt of the woman sitting at the local coffee shop, unaware that she’s exposing herself? Little boys steal glimpses, while mature men train our eyes to look at women respectfully.

In Part 3 of this series, I’ll delve into more specifics to provide practical tools to focus our attention more appropriately.

Stay focused!

Mr. Focused