Daddy’s Girls: The Phases of Daddyhood

I have two beautiful daughters: God’s gift to me. My daughters are my crowning jewels. I’m humbled to have been given the privilege to be called their dad.

Oscar & The Girls_Centennial Park-3116I remember the day when each of my girls was born. I will forever cherish those memories. Each experience marked my life. With each birth, my life entered a new phase of “daddyhood,” and with each phase my life changed for the better.

As dads, sometimes we wonder if we’re truly prepared to be fathers; if we’re suitable; if we have what it takes. The birth of all of my children were surprises; and the moment I found out I would be a dad, I honestly asked myself ‘Are you ready?’ That’s a mammoth-sized question to ask yourself. Gladly, I pressed passed the doubt, stayed focused, and braced myself and my family for our future.

Dads, it’s so easy to question ourselves when major changes in our lives happen. But here’s the thing. No matter how much we plan, and how much we try to figure things out so that we don’t fall flat on our faces where our kids are concerned, we cannot forget to enjoy the journey. It took me years to brand that into my thinking. Like most “providers,” I use to focus more on making sure the journey was “perfect.” I thank God for wisdom.

It takes a wise man to raise girls; to help guide them through the different phases they experience in life. It takes a gentle man to show his daughters the affection they need, when they need it. Like most dads, I really have to work on the affection part. Seems like a broken record, but it’s true. Gentlemen, let’s stop fooling ourselves; we really could use some help in this area. Our daughters and wives translate affection and security, as love, as “he really cherishes me.” Make no mistake, affection is VERY important. There should be a mandatory class for us men called “Affection 101.” Heck. Colleges need to add this to their core curriculum.

Image   We dads simply need to be better prepared for the various phases of daddyhood. These stages correlate to our children’s stages of life: infant to adulthood. From the time our children are born, to the time they become full-fledged adults, we have to be involved in their lives every step of the way. My girls aren’t adults yet. They’re actually in the developmental phase where they need me more so now than ever before. It’s bridge-crossing time, and I need to hold their hands and cross with them, encouraging them, affirming them, loving them, while still buying chocolate and popcorn for our Friday night movie experience.

I’m making it a point to be a better dad to my girls. By no means am I a deadbeat dad. But, I could do a better job at helping to build their confidence and helping them be secure in their identity. I’m staying focused; they need me to.

I LOVE my daughters. God, thanks!