The “180 Rule” Part 1

Ladies, face it. Men love looking at women. We’re visual creatures; and that’s how God made us.

The ginormous Victoria’s Secret window displays aren’t made for you; but rather for men to salavate over in passing. Why? Think about it. Your man or some other guy sees what some marketing genius defines as “sexy,” and then you see the effect it has on men. You then decide that you want to recreate the same effect. So, what do you do? You pay for the illusion of “sexy” just to make him happy. You make an emotional decision instead of an informed decision.

“What’s wrong with that, Focused Man? I want to look sexy and be attractive.” I understand. I get it. Men like beautiful women, but they also like gorgeous cars. However, after awhile, cars get traded in for new ones once they lose their value. Ponder that truth for a moment.

Now before you send me hate email, hear what I’m saying.

I’m sure you would agree that most women would prefer that their man only stare at them and find them attractive instead of some other woman, right? Of course. Ladies, you want to feel like #1. There’s nothing wrong with that. But how many times have you lived or witnessed this scenario: the woman says to her boyfriend, “So, who were you checking out just now? Don’t lie. I saw you looking at that @#!%$’s butt!” Whoa! The guy tries to deny it, but knows he got caught…again. Same situation. Different day. Different woman. Same cycle.

You see; guys develop wandering eyes over time, and become good at it. We subconsciously practice it every day. I recently read an online article which stated that men spend about 43 minutes a day staring at 10 different women. For some guys, this may be on the low end. I believe that this amount of daily intake causes a man to develop “eye muscle memory.” Basically, a man’s eyes get programmed to check out women a certain way, which gets locked into his memory vault. The looking becomes an automatic idiosyncrasy. This briefly explains why most men develop a staring pattern, which for some grows into a staring problem.

For example, when a man zeros in on an attractive woman walking toward him, because his eyes have been trained to stare at specific parts of her body in sequential order, he “sizes her up” in a matter of seconds. He rates her physique from 1 to 10; 10 equalling “hot” status, and 1 equaling, well, you know. When she walks passed him, the visual information he gathered filters through his mental computer, and then he is compelled to turn around to gather more information: legs, thighs, calves, hair…the list goes on. He smiles and may fantasize for a moment, and then keeps it moving. And, if a woman is very appealing, and if he spends too much time looking at her, she may permanently get added to his mental vault.

The good thing is, some men recognize that there is a problem. Unfortunately, they simply may not have the right practical tools to fix it. Is there any real help for the many tempted men out there? Can those who truly want to change, actually change? Yes!

For those of us who choose to purify our eyes, the key is to break our visual habits and end the cycle. It is possible; but how? I call it the “180 Rule.” 

Read Part 2 to learn more.

Follow me on Twitter @thefocusedman or on Facebook for more information about The Focused Man International.

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